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1. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."—Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004 2. "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."—Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000 3. "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"—Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000 4. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."—Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004 5. "Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican."—declining to answer reporters' questions at the Summit of the Americas, Quebec City, Canada, April 21, 2001 6. "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.''—Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001 7. "I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."—Washington, D.C., April 18, 2006 8. "See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."—Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005 9. "I've heard he's been called Bush's poodle. He's bigger than that."—discussing former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, as quoted by the Sun newspaper, June 27, 2007 10. "And so, General, I want to thank you for your service. And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq."—meeting with Army Gen. Ray Odierno, Washington, D.C., March 3, 2008 11. "We ought to make the pie higher."—South Carolina Republican debate, Feb. 15, 2000 12. "There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can't get fooled again."—Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002 13. "And there is distrust in Washington. I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town. And I'm sorry it's the case, and I'll work hard to try to elevate it."—speaking on National Public Radio, Jan. 29, 2007 14. "We'll let our friends be the peacekeepers and the great country called America will be the pacemakers."—Houston, Sept. 6, 2000 15. "It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet."—Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000 16. "One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."—U.S. News & World Report, Jan. 3, 2000 17. "People say, 'How can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil?' You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you."—Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2002 18. "Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness."—CNN online chat, Aug. 30, 2000 19. "I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep on the soil of a friend."—on the prospect of visiting Denmark, Washington, D.C., June 29, 2005 20. "I think it's really important for this great state of baseball to reach out to people of all walks of life to make sure that the sport is inclusive. The best way to do it is to convince little kids how to—the beauty of playing baseball."—Washington, D.C., Feb. 13, 2006 21. "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."—LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000 22. "You know, when I campaigned here in 2000, I said, I want to be a war president. No president wants to be a war president, but I am one."—Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 26, 2006 23. "There's a huge trust. I see it all the time when people come up to me and say, 'I don't want you to let me down again.' "—Boston, Oct. 3, 2000 24. "They misunderestimated me."—Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000 25. "I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office."—Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008 | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment   |
| To those of you in my friends list who haven't the privilege of knowing scotmoore, dittrich and djsammyc, I'll explain: scotmoore started a weekly top ten funniest LJ statements and passed the baton on to dittrich, who passed it on to djsammyc, who passed it on to me. These, in no particular order, are the things I found funniest in my friends list this week:
1. Posted in the journal of luna_marie: "So the one thing that I had been worrying about Luna was that she was backed up. All of the formula that she has had with a few pees and barely any poo worried me. I say worried because they don't worry me anymore. So I had just got done giving her a suplemental feeding and I was burping her. Then I felt what I thought was a flatus. It didn't turn out to be a flatus. More of a stringy poo that was a bit wide to come from her bottom. I cleaned her up and she kept pushing. Lets just state that she started going again. The plug was out. It was bar close and everyone got out. Then she peed all over. Needless to say I am happy that she has emptied herself out. Though I hope that she doesn't continue to wait so long next time." (This is more than just a statement, but I do love humor of contrasts, and the thought of her multi-pierced/multi-tattooed/zz-top bearded daddy putting so much thought into her poo tickled me to death.)
2. Posted in the journal of djande regarding his recent turtle bite: "Should I be concerned that I will turn into a turtle next full-moon?"
3. Posted in the journal of spider8: "I watch too much Buffy to not think about portals and crap when disoriented."
4. Posted in the journal of cornelius_mcfee: " ...had a dream the other night that I was scrubbing a stain out of the carpet at work. amanda_mary woke me up in the middle of it. ...I actually wanted to go back in to the dream so I could see if I got the stain out. ...how fucking nerdy is that???"
5. Posted in the journal of magaggies regarding her band's screaming fans: "It was almost as if they didn't hate us."
6. Posted in the journal of eatsoylentgreen: "Well I love you too, but the whole purpose of this post is to let you know of Bill Gates' love."
7. Posted in the journal of slinky76: "the bag of baked lays sour cream & cheddar potato chips was open & chips were strewn everywhere. my chair was moved across the room & a clear imprint of where i had been laying on the floor could be seen as i realized that at some point during the conversation, my phone battery had died & i had plugged into the wall & was forced to lay on the ground."
8. Posted in the journal of amanda_mary regarding marriage: "I'm also a proponent of overhauling from within, which is one of the main reasons I elected to enter the belly of the beast to begin with. But that's another story entirely."
9. Posted in the journal of chrismolson: "While getting ready for work this morning, I was brushing my teeth while trying to put my shoes on, and I fell off my desk chair." (best visual)
10. Posted in the journal of ezrajohn: "I didn't want Derek to feel left out so I have been very excited by his digestive system, too. "
So, those are my picks. I will pass the baton to a woman who consistently makes me laugh, and will do a great job of finding good tidbits this week: Renee! | | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment |
| | I had a dream/nightmare last night that I'd had a baby. I didn't know who the father was, because, as far as I knew, I had not followed proper baby-making procedures. What was worse, in my dream I kept forgetting that I'd had a baby! I'd be at work and suddenly remember about the whole giving birth thing, and then rush home to find a kid in the dirty laundry hamper who needed a whole lot of cleanup/feeding/medical care. Near the end, I was torn between giving him up for adoption because I was such a shitty parent, and wanting to take responsibility for my situation and give the kid a good home. I was so scared and confused - and alone. The baby was a beautiful boy with white-blonde hair and vivid bright blue eyes. He looked a little like my friend Kim. I hadn't even given him a name or anything. It felt like there was no bond between us - it's like he was just another chore to get done. I was really alarmed at how disconnected I felt with my own child. I didn't like that dream. | | comments: 23 comments or Leave a comment |
| Foofy herb-y bread
Cream cheese
Romaine lettuce
Smoked turkey slices
Slice of Muenster
Thin Pink Lady apple slices
Arugula
Mayo
Foofy herb-y bread
Whoever it was at that Co-Op that thought to put the pert Pink Lady apple slices right next to the spicy and slightly bitter Arugula was just brilliant. I'm going to go rub my head against their leg. | | comments: 16 comments or Leave a comment |
| I think I've figured out how Jesus did the loaves and fishes thing. He had a Scandinavian woman with no concept of portion control helping out.
On Mondays, for the past couple weeks, I've been going over to Mavis' home and bringing dinner. (Mavis is the mom of my friend Kim who died recently of cystic fibrosis) We eat together and then she talks to me about Kim has me help her pack up Kim's things, help dispose of the funeral flowers, catch centepedes, plan the spring garden, and move boxes, etc. It's nice - she's a wonderful woman.
Last night, I came over and Mavis had neglected to mention that there were 4 extra people there! Her son, his wife and baby, plus Kim's fiancee. Tabbouleh and mazo ball soup for 2 didn't seem likely to satisfy! Then, I realized - I had brought an entire bag of pita bread for the tabbouleh. The amount of tabbouleh I brought was rather outlandish. Plus, the mazo balls were nearly the size of grapefruit. I warmed up the soup, put out the tabbouleh and flatbread, split the mazo balls in two, and hoped for the best. (hoping for the best is essential in any situation like this) People ate and were satisfied. People laughed, drank delicious wine, played with a baby, finished with a fortuitous cheesecake, and did the dishes. Good times.
Miracles don't have to be flashy and impossible feats. A good dose of love added to the mix can spread simple things a long way. Have a good day, folks, and always hope for the best. | | comments: 14 comments or Leave a comment |
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This is a photo of Atticus laying down the law to a yellow sponge protoavian, a blue sponge triceratops, and a green sponge tyrannosaurus rex. These sessions go on several times per day. | | comments: 14 comments or Leave a comment |
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This is a photo of Slovakia, one of my most favorite places. I went there in the summer of 2000 and taught some kids how to play baseball. We also ran around Bratislava (capital city) and explored various castles. I just found out that I've been accepted to go on a team to Slovakia again - this time to hold a nature camp! The trip is from May 18th through the 28th this year. My bosses let me have the time off, too. Those hills in the background are the foothills of the Carpathian mountains. I may not come back. I love this place. | | comments: 16 comments or Leave a comment |
| Again, I awoke earlier than Marit. To be fair, she'd been having trouble sleeping, and it was nice that she was finally getting a good dose of it. I ambled around Marit's nice apartment and looked at the various things she had put on the walls and fridge. I was amazed at the amount of magnets that she managed to fit onto her fridge. Then, I ate some cereal and scarfed down another couple raspberry truffles. Outside Marit's sliding door, you can see the mountains and a large mall on the campus. More Koonz.
Marit woke and we rambled around the apartment and she introduced me to the joys of watching Eddie. After Eddie, we packed to head off to our massage appointments in Sedona. The drive to Sedona from Flag is pretty enough in a mountainy kind of way. Then, POW! The view of the canyon of Sedona arrives suddenly, just around the edge of a sharp curve and you just gasp at its beauty. Then, for a good half hour, I was just gasping every breath as Marit slowly took the hairpin curves that took us down the cliffs. The cliffs were filled with large beautiful trees, majestic rocks, and a nearly dry stream that ran through it all. The cliffs had a ruddy orange color, and the green of the trees just popped with them.
In Sedona, we found the spa and rushed in. We were shown to the locker room where we changed into fluffy white robes and slippers. We sat in the steam room for a while, then headed to our massage appointments. After a little negotiation with the masseurs, Marit and I headed off to be kneaded like bread dough. After the massages, we went back to the steam room and lost several gallons of water through our skin. Then, we went to a relaxation area with lounge sofas and this yummy nectar stuff that made you growl when other people made a move for the pitcher. Back into the steam room. Back to the lounge and the nectar. We put our clothes back on eventually and left the oasis.
We ate lunch at a place just across a courtyard (with a water feature!) from the spa. I ate some slightly sweet squash ravioli with a rich parmesean alfredo sauce. It was garnished with toasted walnuts!!! Sooooooo gooooooood. I drank 10 gallons of iced tea and was almost satisfied.
Marit and I drove around Sedona for a while. I took photos of the rock formations until the light went. Then, we went to this little Spanish style outdoor shopping mall. Really cool boutiques in it - AND a painted javelina statue! I didn't have my cell phone camera with me, or I would have been all over that! There was also the loveliest little old chapel there, but we were a little late to get into it - I guess Marit loves it in there. Marit was concerned that I hadn't gotten any souveniers. So, I got a javelina magnet and some Sedona playing cards. The javelina magnet is now attached to the metal door frame in my office.
We made our way back to Flag where Marit gave me a tarot card reading. Apparently to move forward, I need to reconcile the male and female aspects of my persona. More sleep.
In the morning, Marit gave me a ride to the nearby train station where I caught a shuttle bus to the Phoenix airport. I read another Koonz novel about warring circus people (homocidal clowns vs. incestuous acrobats) and a baker's family who got caught in the middle. On my flight, my seatmates were actually more scary than Koonz - 4 guys from Duluth who had long straggly hair and strong body odor, spent the entire flight looking at paramilitary and handgun catalogs. I finished the book when my flight touched down in Minneapolis - the baker's family won. | | comments: 7 comments or Leave a comment |
| The masking tape blue
The bookshelves moved
The outlet covers removed
The rollers' fuzzy groove
The Colorado smokey hue
Wanna help paint my office blue?
This weekend only, volunteers are welcome! I hear it induces labor... | | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment |
| I woke up early again and snuck down to the lobby so I could read more Dean Koonz. The hotel had a public computer, so I checked my email and livejournal to see how you all were doing. The breakfast area was confusing to me, and none of the staff spoke English. So, I walked through, filled a plate and handed over some money. Good food - eggs with cheese, sausage and other stuff in them. Mmmm...
Marit woke up and came down for breakfast. I told her what my book was about, and she was very disturbed by it. We kinda have different tastes in fiction, she and I. So, after that, we packed up and hauled off to head towards Flagstaff and the Grand Canyon.
The drive to Flag was about 3 hours, I think. Every half hour or so, you would look outside the car window and see that all the vegetation had changed! Near Phoenix, there were lots of cacti and such - the low desert. We stopped at Camp Verde where I bought some film, ate a Starbucks espresso brownie, ate a Quiznos sub, and took a cell photo of the World's Largest Kokopelle.
We only stopped for gas in Flag because we needed to head north for another couple hours to reach the Grand Canyon before the light was gone. The canyon was huge and beautiful. I scampered around like a squirrel on meth, dangling off branches, trying to get the same shot that had been gotten by millions of other people. After the light went, Marit and I headed over to the guest center. On the path was a smallish deer type thing that was eating with the bored blase manner of a supermodel. He was utterly unimpressed with all the tourists who were stopping to take his photo.
The countryside near Flag is vast and beautiful. There are fields, trees, and friendly looking mountains. Not the razor sharp icy looking crags that kill people, but nice rounded grassy things. We went to Marit's apartment, dumped our stuff, and headed out for sushi. The sushi place looked kinda low-rent, but my gosh, they knew their sushi. I stuffed myself and made indecent sounds of enjoyment while I did so.
After sushi, Marit and I went through some of the many boutique shops in Flag. Then, after wandering the streets late at night, we went to a wine bar and had some yummy wine while Marit kicked my butt in the game "Sorry." Come to think of it, I don't think she was sorry at all... | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I woke up early - in part because I was an hour earlier time-zone wise, and also because I'm me. I snuck out of the room to go get breakfast and journal a little. The hotel provided a nice breakfast buffet, and there were a lot of people in the dining area. I chose a table in the sun and wrote while eating. I kept an eye on the time in case I needed to stuff some food down my pants and sneak it to Marit, who I figured would have difficulty getting to the buffet before it closed. Some guy sat down at my table because there were no other empty places. I felt very european eating breakfast with a stranger. Then, Marit wandered into the breakfast area and apparently woke up very quickly when she saw me eating with some strange guy. Her morning-clouded mind had forgotten that I wasn't that kind of girl...
After we ate, we packed our things and many of the hotel's complimentary things into our bags and hauled ourselves out of there. We made our way through the expensive Scottsdale neighborhood over to the famous Biltmore Hotel. It's not actually possible to find the place on purpose, though. However, it is easily findable by accident. Under the mysteriously authorized wing of Marit, I walked right into the place and took a chair by one of the luxurious pools and began reading my Dean Koonz book. That's a funny thing about Marit: you find yourself doing things that you'd never have the confidence to do by yourself. We read in the sun for a good while. Then, after Marit had an encounter with a maid's cart containing hand lotion, we toured their beautiful gardens and architecture. I touched the piano that the Rat Pack would gather around and say drunken witty things to each other.
After the Biltmore, we went back to a fabulous Chinese place that I don't remember the name of. I had a bowl of wonton soup that was bigger than my head. It was sooo good. It had wontons, but also vegetables and other delicious things in it. Marit had some chicken mango stuff and I have it on good authority that it was very very good, as well.
Then, we went back to Fashion Square where Marit found the perfume she wanted, tried on several pairs of size 0 jeans, and showed me a very very good chocolate place. See's Chocolate. She got marzupan chocolate thingies - and it was actually good marzupan and not the too-sweet clay-like crap that you get everywhere. I fell in love with a tart raspberry creme with dark chocolate covering it. I dragged Marit into Ann Taylor and she found a nice pink sweater that's going to be great for interviews. Marit works well with pink things. We returned to Anthropologie where Marit purchased the future Anderson heirloom: the chicken puppet. I dragged Marit into a place that sold large photos of bears doing stuff.
Then, we went to our next hotel. This place had our info, and there was no real drama when it came to getting the room. The room was also big, and had 2 huge beds, plus a sofa, a TV and some chairs. By this time, it was getting late and we had to hurry to make our reservation at Ray's Polynesian Grille.
Ray's Polynesian Grille was a nice place, in a nice country club, with a nice valet service, and I was wearing nice jeans and a long sleeved T-shirt. Yet again, under the celebrity-like aura of Marit, I snuck into the place and had a delicious meal. Marit enjoyed a lobster bisque, and I had the pan seared mahi mahi encrusted with roasted macadamia nuts. Then, for dessert, we shared a moulten fudge souffle thingy. I took a photo of it with my cell. I think I even randomly emailed it to some people. After dinner, we didn't know how much we were supposed to tip valets, so I poked a guy who looked like he knew what he was doing. He said 3-5 bucks. I like asking random people strange questions, sometimes.
When we got back to the hotel, Marit crashed and I read more Koonz for a bit. Apparently, that night I talked in my sleep a little. Marit didn't answer me, though. I felt slighted when she told me that... | | comments: 13 comments or Leave a comment |
| Marit picked me up at the Phoenix airport before I could embarrass myself by taking a cellphone photo of the straggly palm trees next to the highway. Instead, she whisked me away to our hotel - or at least that was the plan. Despite Marit's reservations and phone confirmation, the hotel had no record of her reservations when we arrived! Marit and I sat in the lobby. I watched CNN while Marit called Priceline to get them to send the reservation to the hotel.
After a while of Marit listening to hold music and choosing phone options, I asked the clerk where the nearest library was. After getting directions and a map, Marit and I went to the Scottsdale public library and Marit hopped onto a public computer. Beware two tired women with internet access!!! Armed with Marit's confirmation emails, we returned to the hotel and presented our trophies to the clerk. We were given keys to the room. Ah ha ha ha ha haaaa!!!!
Once we passed through the parking lots filled with orange trees, we discovered that our room was ridiculously large. There were two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a living room, 3 TVs, and a kitchen. The mini-soaps smelled wonderful, and they also provided us with a rubber duck, which I am not entirely sure stayed in the room when Marit left.
Next we headed to fashion square - a huge mall that is rather confusing in its design. Expensively, fabulously, fashionable retailers, and quite lovely inside. They love their water fountains. It was late afternoon and I hadn't eaten since breakfast, so Marit and I found the food court and I endulged in some fries and a huge iced tea which I spilled all over the counter before I even got a sip. They didn't offer me another. Hmph. Then, while Marit returned something at a cosmetics counter, I went on a voyage of discovery - often presenting the most horrid purses to Marit in abject excitement. Feathered purses, people! Feathered!
Next, Marit wanted to get a new perfume, so we dove into the odorous kingdom. Marit would spray things on their cards, smell them, present them to me, and watch as I walked a department away, smelled the card, and return with opinions like "bug sprayish" or "soapy" or "J-Lo must die." Then, I presented my face to a woman who painted it yellowish and told me that my favorite makeup would crawl into my pores and poison my brain. Well, not that exactly, but she had strong opinions and had no compunctions about sticking her cleavage right in my face, so I didn't argue with her. Then she followed us out to the parking lot, but that's another story. Marit showed me other stores that had every kind of makeup and scent ever created - except the one she wanted. We also went to Anthropologie where a chicken puppet was evaluated for its worthiness of the next Anderson generation. I have a cell photo of Marit wearing an excellent hat.
Then, we went to The Melting Pot where we ate cheese fondue that was prepared and served by a very cute waiter who just happened to come to Phoenix from Winona, MN. Those who know Marit are not surprised by this. Every time he came back to ask how our meal was, we complained that it was terrible and that he had much to answer for. He was properly apologetic. Then, we ate chocolate fondue with bits of strawberries, bananas, cake and other things that should be covered with chocolate.
After cheese and chocolate, we needed wine, so we went to the grocery store which had a huge wine selection. I loved that the grocery stores actually had wine. It made me giddy. I hovered over their olive bar, and had I not been full of cheese, I could have done some damage there. Marit guided me to a wine with a funny name, but a great taste - Fat Bastard, was it? Anyway, we took our wine to the hotel and watched bad TV while Marit killed me while playing gin. Killed me. Marit will always win at cards, especially when wine is involved. We talked about boys, as is requisite, and made good plans for our futures. Then the wine was gone. We weren't sure exactly who drank all of it. I thought it was that rotten Fat Bastard. We vowed that vengance would be had - after a good night's sleep. Vengance is a wine best served well-rested. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| | I just came from the MN Department of Labor where I reviewed some records. As I waited to pay for my copies, I looked up. Hanging from the ceiling was the same plastic bat that had been hanging there for years. This bat is always decorated by season. Today, it was wearing a green bowler hat and had strategically placed shamrock pasties. I didn't know whether to giggle or gouge out my eyes. | | comments: 9 comments or Leave a comment |
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nuzzybear's journal
